I Wonder II: Mulder's side
by missx1121
Summary: Mulder's thoughts while on the ship. Sequel to: I Wonder


Title: I wonder II: Mulder's side.  
  
Author: Missx1121  
  
Summary: What Mulder goes through, and his thoughts while on the ship. Sequel to I wonder.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters of the following, all though I wish they did, do not belong to me. They are the soul property of Chris Carter and 1013 productions.  
  
Feed back is greatly appreciative. Send comments to xf4ever1121@yahoo.com  
  
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They came again today. It's always the same. I would be cramped up in my small cage. It would be quite, the only sound penetrating the quite darkness that surrounds me is the beating of my own heart, the only indication that I am still alive. Then the lights suddenly flash on and they appear before me. They do not speak but I know their every thought. They open my door and drag my naked body up off the cold concrete floor. They make me walk down the long lonely corridor. It's hard to believe that just hours ago, or has it been days there was others here suffering the same torture that has been inflicted on to me. Among them were Billy Miles, and Theresa Hosea. Also abducted from Oregon. Have they been released, not need for any further test, or have they merely been destroyed, I don't know.  
The thoughts quickly leave my mind as we arrive at the chamber that has caused me such torture. They lead me to the table, and I get into my usual position, I find it easier if I just cooperate, it goes by faster.  
As I lie here, my mind drifts to my savior, you, Scully. Thanks to you I am able to leave my pain behind. I think of your smile, and it seems like all my troubles just melt away.  
I wonder about you Scully, are you ok? Are you berating yourself about letting me go? Don't you know, Scully that the one who blames themselves in this partnership is me?  
How I wish my arms were free, just so I could reach up and touch your cross that lies across my neck. The only thing that those alien bastards let me keep on me. But as a cuss them, I am thankful that they allowed me to keep this, for it is my only link to you. I told you before Scully, but I'll tell you again, you keep me honest; you make me a whole person.  
Sully, I love you. I know I haven't told you before, but I know you knew that I did. The one moment in my life that I will never forget, and I will always cherish is that day 7 years ago when you walked into my life, and into my heart. I know that we kept our feelings bottled up inside, but I know deep down that we were meant to be. And I remember as if it was yesterday when we first crossed that boundary from friendship to something more.  
It took us 7 years to reach that day. We were sitting on my couch, merely a month ago, after we wrapped up our case about the Jenny. O.K. I know what you're going to say "It was not proven it was a Jenny" let's just pretend I was right for a change. We were watching Caddy Shack, and I looked over at you, and suddenly bells went off, and I realized that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with you. And I confessed my love to you. And you in turn did the same, and then we began to share our love for one another, and I wouldn't trade that moment for anything in the world, not even for the truth.  
I even became foolish enough to believe that nothing will get in our way of happiness, but as usual I was wrong. The place where we shared our first case, our first serious conversation, the place that brought us together, would be the knife that tore us apart. We were sent back to Oregon.  
Then you became sick. Damn Scully that scared me to death, I'm still scared I don't know what happened I never found out. I feared your cancer had returned, wouldn't figure that by the time we finally confess our love, something so vile would tear us apart. So I couldn't let you go with me, I couldn't risk loosing you. So Skinner accompanied me back to Oregon, and I don't remember much after that. Except, for fear. Not fear for me, but for you. I didn't want to leave you with that pain.  
Scully all this time that I have been captured on this ship, there hasn't been a minute that went buy without me thinking of you. When I'm trapped in this metal chair, like I am now and that needle starts to drill into me, I just think of you and I became immune to the pain. I do not feel fear, I feel anger. Anger at being torn from my life with you and being subjected to this test. And anger at these alien bastards who put you and I through such anguish, who took away our chance at true happiness.  
Scully, I never told you this, but remember our discussion in Home, Pennsylvania about children. At that moment I pictured our children and what they would be like. And now since we have consummated our relationship I am furious knowing that these bastards have taken that away from us as well. I know how much you want children, just by seeing you with Teresa's baby. But as I said before, never give up on a miracle, maybe someday we will get a chance to have that miracle, God owes us one.  
Scully, there doing something different today. I don't know what but the pain is becoming more severe and I can't stand it anymore. I feel my self start to drift toward the unconsciousness, and my last thoughts are of you. And I pray to a God who I hope is out there, to let me come home to you. Scully, I love you, and I just know deep down that we will be reunited so please don't give up; remember never give up on a miracle. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________ Note: I know this story was short, but not as short as the last one. I wrote it during my break at work, which is why it's so short. But I am currently working on the third part of this, which will be much longer. Will it be the ending, or the beginning? Please tell me what you think before I put on my other story. Anything you want me to add, or something key to the show that you want me to touch on in my stories, just let me know. Thanks' for reading. Look forward to hearing your comments. 


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